Saturday, January 25, 2014

As If...

Each morning we awaken with choices.  I think of them as the great "AS IFs". We can live as if we have to go to work, or we can live as if we get to go to work. We live as if we have to cook dinner, or as if we get to cook dinner. We choose to live as if we have to exercise, or live as if we get to exercise. We choose to live as if we have to serve our spouse, or if we get to; if we have to do things for our children, or we get to. You get the picture? Each day is a series of choices about how we choose to live our lives. The choices we make determine the quality of our life experiences. We are not at the mercy of fate, predestination, or our circumstances. In all things we have choice in how we will ultimately react.

This week I received news that I hoped to never hear again. It seems that The Nuisance is back on the prowl. There are two spots that appear to be growing; one on my diaghram and another on my chest wall. We are uncertain what that means right now. There are questions about the rate of growth, if there are other spots that may be hiding, and even the slimmest possibility that it is just the way they appear on the CT scan. At this point there is little to do, but wait and see. I am to return to MD Anderson in March for another round of tests to see what the little boogers are up to and then we will begin to formulate a game plan. For now we wait and see...and pray. So now I am faced with one of life's biggest AS IFs. How will I live for the next two months? Shall I be afraid? Hold my breath? Worry about the possibilities? Dread the future? HECK NO!!!! I WILL LIVE MY LIFE AS IF I AM HEALED!!!! I WILL LIVE MY LIFE AS IF I AM FREE FROM FEAR!!!! I refuse to bow before the altar of despair and defeat. I will bow before my God in thanks for each day and live my life AS IF there is nothing to fear!!!

I can choose to live AS IF because I have been promised these (and many other) things:

Psalm 27:1-3
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When the wicked advance against me
    to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
    who will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
    my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
    even then I will be confident.

Exodus 14:14
The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Joshua 1:9 NIV
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

John 8:36
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

You see, I am free! My price has been paid. My strength is not my own, but comes from my Lord, Jesus Christ. He willingly fights on my behalf and tells me to be strong and courageous. He is with me. I will live my life AS IF I have nothing to fear and when I stumble I will get back up and do it again. I am not victim of circumstance or disease. I am a child of God! So take THAT Nuisance and prepare to be destroyed!!!

So how about you? How would you complete this sentence: "I am living my life AS IF..."? Are you going through the motions? Tortured by dread and fear? Living AS IF you are beaten, bored, burdened, broken? You have a choice, my sweet friend! You do not control your circumstance, but they don't control you either!  Choose to live AS IF you are blessed, because we are.  You have one who is willing to fight for you, you need only be still!!

Pray me on. God has shown us remarkable things. He is not done!


  1. Oh Anna you are such an encouragement. I remember you as a little girl with all the "spunk" and you still have it. God is so faithful and I know He is holding you and your family.Praying for you and to be healed completely in the name of Jesus!

    1. Thank you so much for your prayers!! They mean the world to me!!!

  2. Beautifully stated! I, too, am a "member of the club" and recognize each day as a gift (that it's why we call it the present).

    We can lose a lot of things, but as long as we keep our faith (and a sense of humor), life is better than good . . . it is GREAT!!!

    1. You are so right Jamie! I love the "present"!! We will not lose faith!!!!

  3. You don't know me (but I'm the nurse at Whiteside) and have been praying for you and will con't to do so, what a great outlook on life you have. Such an example.

    1. Cara, your prayers are precious to me! Thank you for investing in my life in the greatest way!!!! May the blessings come back 10 fold!!

  4. Anna, you have a remarkable walk with our Lord! I believe God has good plans for us. He says so. I do not believe He, the infinite, is obligated to the will of the finite. If He were, He would become finite, and could not walk with us. Yet it is He who has chosen us! It is He who has made it possible for us to walk with Him. It is He who issues the invitation. This walk we have been offered with Him is both temporal and eternal!!! Like a child walking with his father, I have still so much to learn and experience. I the finite, beginning an infinite walk with Him. How could that be? Because of the great work of Jesus, we get to choose to walk with Him! Cool! As Abraham accepted the opportunity to go to a place God would show him, we also have been given that invitation!!! Wow!!! Thanks for your walk and thanks for sharing it.

    1. Thanks Daddy!! So grateful for the blessings God has hidden in the struggles! To think he knows and loves us is totally overwhelming! I love you so very much!